Throw away your relationship rules and start from scratch
Queer theory is more than just philosophy. It's authentic living in practice.
NEW Podcast: Finding Freedom Through Questioning Norms and Connecting with Your Authentic Desire
Cycles and Shadows with Holly Ransom
Recently, I had the opportunity to record a podcast with my friend, collaborator, and yoga teacher, Holly Ransom, on her podcast, Cycles and Shadows. On the short and sweet episode, we talk about how important it is to detangle the mess of socialization that tells us what we “should” want in order to find and connect to our authentic desire. After all, finding freedom through questioning norms—establishing them as social constructs and finding the power to say no thank you—is what queer theory is.
I think a lot about how, particularly for women, our authentic sense of desire is stolen from us before we get the chance to explore it. Sexualized, objectified, and violated from a young age, we learn to minimize, fear, and detach from the erotic early on. And it’s only through feminism and queerness that I’ve relearned to reclaim that.
So if you’ve ever wondered where to start on your journey toward living your most authentic romantic and sexual life, then this podcast is for you:
Tending to the Heart: A Workshop for Breakup Grief
Tuesday, 8/18, at 6pm • Cinder and Sound • Rye, NH
If you loved listening to the podcast, may I recommend coming to the workshop that Holly and I are hosting next week? We designed Tending to the Heart to be a space where folks can process heartbreak and move toward forgiving themselves. It includes so many amazing offerings: self-reflection, storytelling, movement, energy healing, sound healing, cacao, and even crystals and intention candles to take home!
If you’re in the Seacoast area, we’d love to see you there:
Wait—Girl, Where Have You Been?
A Little Life Update
In case you haven’t been following along on Instagram (which I recommend doing—we have a lot of fun over there, from regular Q&As to Taylor Swift analysis to personal life content), you might be wondering why I haven’t published a newsletter in two months. But I have a good excuse: I’d been moving through a job interview process—and then I got the job!
After ten years of being self-employed, I decided that the lack of financial security was taking too much of a toll on my mental health. Reinvigorated to re-enter the interpersonal violence sector, I started applying to jobs in the spring. And fortunately for me, because I’m currently living in a sparsely populated area, I was called in for several interviews. Beautifully, I ended up in a position that I really, really wanted: as an interpersonal violence prevention educator for non-traditional college students and staff in the state of Maine.
Applying, interviewing, and training (I’m only in week two of the job!) has taken a lot out of me, and so I took a break from regular newsletter writing for a bit. Once I feel more settled, I hope to pick it back up. There are so many things I want to talk about!
For now, here are some pieces I published about queerness for and around Pride: